Brilliant Miller's Blog
Change Is Not Only Hard, It’s Often Invisible
You could change just about anything about yourself—and I mean anything—and some people in your life just won’t see it.
When these people look at you, it’s like they’re looking at the light of a dead star.
They see what used to be there. They see what they expect to see, what they’re familiar with, what they want to see.
But they don’t see you. They see whatever concept they have of you.
Some of these people practice a sort of willful ignorance. Others simply don’t notice.
I see this in my life because some people, some of whom are close to me, still call me by my old name even though I legally changed it a year and a half ago.
It’s well known that each of us has, in our retinas, a physiological blind spot which our brains do a near-magical job of filling in. Color, texture and brightness all get filled in without our ever noticing it.
I realized that if I can change my name—a conspicuous and outward-facing aspect of myself—and actively announce that change to those around me, that it’s even less like that anyone would notice if I changed some inward aspect of myself, like becoming more patient, forgiving, loving or generous.
So, I say, just be yourself. Don’t worry if other people like it, or even notice.
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