Podcast Episode 13
Unlocking Potential and Inspiring Change
Welcome to another episode of the Coaches Commonplace Podcast, where we delve into the realm of personal growth and self-improvement. Join us as we discuss valuable insights and practical tips to help you establish a strong foundation for your coaching business. This week we cover a wide range of topics that will empower you to create a transformative coaching experience for your clients including challenging the notion of simply sorting things out and instead focusing on embracing opportunities for growth, improvement, and expansion.
In this episode, we encourage you to embrace growth, unlock your potential, and embark on a journey of self-discovery. We also discuss the reasons why Brilliant may consider parting ways with his smartphone and the profound impact it can have on his personal journey. As we explore the purpose and power of writing, we also uncover ways to get your message out to the world and inspire positive change.
This week on the Coaches Commonplace:
- Why Brilliant may part ways with his smart phone and his contacts
- Learning and growing rather than sorting things out
- The power of movement
- Getting your message to the world
- The purpose and power of writing you
Dean Miles [00:00:00] But I’ve read thousands of articles of how to hit out of the sand trap in Golf Digest. I mean, thousands of articles. Brilliant. And you and I have played golf together. And you know my rule, I don’t hit out of the sand pit. But no one knows more about it than me. And I’m terrible at it, which I think is the difference between sorting things out versus learning, improving and growing. I think it’s different than development versus performance. Go live this life. Don’t talk about it. I love that you’re challenging me and those that listen to us and to make space for it.
Brilliant Miller [00:00:44] Mr. Dean Miles, good to see you.
Dean Miles [00:00:46] Mr. Brilliant Miller. Good afternoon.
Brilliant Miller [00:00:50] So, Dean, here we are again for another episode of The Coach’s Commonplace podcast, a podcast where we explore what it means to live a good life, what it means to be an effective coach, to be a great coach, what it means to earn recognition and money, not just what it means, but how to do it.
Dean Miles [00:01:06] There is a difference.
Brilliant Miller [00:01:08] There is a difference in knowing and doing that thing, there is a knowing and doing gap.
Dean Miles [00:01:12] Yes. Yes, yes, yes. It’s why I actually listen to our podcast. Brilliant. I’m not kidding. I text you every now and then. I’m like, that was really good. I think because we’re we don’t have this pre plan. This is not scripted. We’re both active coaches, both living full lives. We’re parents or husbands. We’re friends, right? I mean, all these different things. So, when we come on here, we’re actually just saying, here’s what we’re learning and here’s what we’re doing. And then I go back sometimes it’s several weeks or a month later. And when these get pushed out and it really is, I need to be reminded more than I’m instructed.
Brilliant Miller [00:01:49] Yes.
Dean Miles [00:01:50] And I’m like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, my wife will hear me laughing like, what are you watching? I’m like, I’m watching me. And brilliant. So, it’s good.
Brilliant Miller [00:02:00] Well, I hope our listeners and our viewers find as much value as we do, but we’ll see. So today we’ve got a few things on deck. Talk about those very things. Right. Of course. I hope. And as I like to start, let’s start by talking about our information diet. I’d like to say human beings are in full force. We’re consuming. We are consumers. I don’t always like to admit it, but we consume information. My hope is that we take it in, we consume it, we internalize it, and then it comes back out in some really beautiful ways. Hopefully there’s some artistic expression, there’s some creativity, there’s some service to others. So, Dean, tell me about your information diet. What have you been reading or watching or listening to recently?
Dean Miles [00:02:48] Yeah, a couple of things. So, oldies but goodies. So back from 2016 to Charles Duhigg. It’s because smarter, faster, better. I always take the covers off the books. I don’t know what that means about me. Those but those plastic things that get on there, those. I’m sure there’s a word for that. What do you call the dust jackets? There you go. There you go. Yeah, I get rid of those almost immediately. Charles Duhigg was a reporter. Wrote a great article about some of the. Projects and some of the research that Google did. So, Project Oxygen and Project Aristotle about do we need managers? And if we do need managers, what are some of the predictors of some of the best managers that lead some of the best teams? He took all that information from lot of his research, and the article they wrote, I think was in the New York Post and then turned it into this book for 2016. It is really, really, really good. And then the other one is a friend of ours, brilliant, Michael Bungay Steiner. He’s such a great person. I’ve so great enjoyed getting to know him. And I think we’re going to see him possibly in Nashville here in a couple of weeks. But the coaching habit of going back and just reminding myself and just testing myself, where am I to this standard? We may talk about this a little bit later.
Brilliant Miller [00:04:11] I love that book. By the way. The coaching habit is amazing and the whole story, you know, as you well know, every book has its own story. And that one is a pretty amazing story as we’ll talk more in this conversation about writing a book. But how Michael got that book written and self-published and has now sold more than half a million copies, which is amazing.
Dean Miles [00:04:34] Amazing.
Brilliant Miller [00:04:35] Only 25,000 words, but incredible. So, I know we’ll talk about some of what you’re taking away or remembering from probably both those books as we move on to our conversation specifically about coaching. But I’ll share with you before we get there that my information diet over the last couple of weeks, two weeks has been I have severely restricted it and I’ve done this before, but I’ve never done it with this intention, which is to do this for the rest of my life. And I even wondered, should I get rid of my phone? Like, what would life be like without a cell phone? And then I thought maybe I could get one of those. I think I’ve heard or read something about those companies that sell the phones that you can at least call or do the old school text like the old Nokia’s. But they’re mining towns. They’re not smartphones, phones or even. I came across an article not too long ago about there’s still like 300,000 pagers in service in the United States daily because some people just don’t want to get rid of it. They like the simplicity of that dedicated, you know, a one trick pony device. And I haven’t thought, should I get a pager?
Dean Miles [00:05:46] Well, no.
Brilliant Miller [00:05:47] But my phone, like probably everyone listening to this or watching this is become you know, the first thing I reach for in the morning when I turn off my alarm. And what helps me find my way to bed at night with the flashlight. And when I set my alarm, you know, and in between, many times, just a source of almost endless distraction, maybe even addiction. And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to live that way anymore.
Dean Miles [00:06:16] But just to clarify. You said possibly forever.
Brilliant Miller [00:06:21] Well, yes. So, what I mean by that is and let me back up and give a little bit of context and we’ll see how much of this because we could I could talk about this a long time, but. I went and spent some time in the desert of New Mexico recently with Will by myself, but as part of a ceremony with a teacher of mine named Kamau Schuler, who has profoundly changed my life, that’s the place where I decided to grow my hair long to change my name. You know, these kinds of things. So, I’ve. And it came at the perfect time in my life. It was either 21st, 2018 is when I discovered this place and this teacher. And that was when I knew that I want to learn more directly from nature, more from my own body, and more from indigenous tradition. Because I’ve spent a lot of time, like a lot of people listening to this in classrooms, you know, attending seminars, reading books, watching Totals, listening to podcasts. I’ve learned a lot intellectually, and I didn’t even realize that I was yearning for other ways of learning. But when I met Arcand, and I learned about some of the ceremonies that he offers. I said, I want to do that. And I made a commitment, a multi-year commitment to go and do a vision fast. There’s no plant medicine. It’s just four days alone in the wilderness, you know, as part of a ceremony supported by others. And it’s ultimately looking for a vision for your life, you know? You know, and you go in with an intention. I didn’t realize this was about learning to pray. I’m I think I’m learning a little more about prayer and maybe how to do it and what the benefits are. But at any rate, it was over these four days that I really reflected on my life. And this one felt like a midlife check in. Like in a real way, I’m 45. If I’m lucky, you know?
Dean Miles [00:08:21] Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:08:22] Right. Science notwithstanding, I’m halfway, you know, halfway there. And I just thought.
Dean Miles [00:08:27] About.
Brilliant Miller [00:08:28] How much of my life is really spent seeking pleasure, avoiding things that are uncomfortable, you know, being distracted, being addicted to different things, and just sitting in a space. This is not a track. It’s not any kind of journey. You’re basically in a ten-by-ten space. So, you’re watching the clouds and you’re watching the ants and you’re watching whatever birds fly by. And I this was the first time in three years of having done it that I didn’t want to be anywhere else. I wanted to be right there. Like I truly wanted to be there because I had the sense if I’m at home, I’m just going to be on the Internet.
Dean Miles [00:09:08] Right?
Brilliant Miller [00:09:08] I’m just going to be restless. I’m going to be distracted. And so, I felt really peaceful that way. And not only did I not want to be anywhere else, but I also didn’t want to be doing anything else, which was that was strange for me. That was not the way it was the first few years I did that.
Dean Miles [00:09:21] Interesting.
Brilliant Miller [00:09:22] Like I couldn’t wait to get to get this over with in previous years this year, right. I felt really, really peaceful and really, really grateful. And part of, as I said, what I thought is I don’t want to live with my attention scrambled. Right? And I know I’m going on long, but I’ll say this. I one of the very first things that came up for me was I want I don’t even know what this means then, but I know that I want to have a relationship with the sacred, whatever that is, within in five, whatever that is. And I also believe very strongly that that’s only possible in the present moment. I can. Maybe I can remember it. I can anticipate it. I can imagine it. But I can only experience it now. And my phone, like I’ve heard this. A weapon of mass destruction.
Dean Miles [00:10:13] Yes, I like that.
Brilliant Miller [00:10:15] And I was listening to a podcast last night where the host of this podcast said it’s his opinion that screens, which is porn and video games, have just like completely in his opinion this Chris Williamson like. Taking men away from what is at the essence of their masculinity. And anyway, that was a little bit of an aside, but in this ceremony, I just thought, I don’t want to live in this scattered, distracted, you know, way that I have for many, many, many years, or at least since 27 when I got my iPhone.
Dean Miles [00:10:49] So this is really inspiring. Brilliant. An album that I’m not projecting on this. But one of the notes I took going back to Michael’s book, The Coaching Habit. He talks about the difference between having a mindset to learn and improve and grow rather than sorting things out. Do you do you think your first trips were more about sorting things out and this time it was less sorting and more growing and learning?
Brilliant Miller [00:11:21] 100%, you know, because the first year I was counting, I was even counting minutes like a prisoner making marks on a wall.
Dean Miles [00:11:30] That would be, and I’ll tell you.
Brilliant Miller [00:11:33] It wore me out. It was exhausting. And it feels futile. Like, why are you doing that? You’re waiting for your life to be over. Like, what is that? Right? And then last year in the ceremony in our can always give a little bit of instruction before we go out. And last year he said, Relax your humanness. Right. He’s and he’s Peruvian. He maybe you know, Spanish is his first language is translations maybe don’t always come across or that might sound strange to say in English, but his point was this is a place the term summing up, which I believe is catch fire. It’s actually catch fire from the ambient, you know, areas. And he said it’s a resting place. And part of the reason that we fast, he says, is to become less little bit less human, more spirit. And he’ll say so last year when he said, relax your humanness, that actually helped me to just be present, to just breathe, to just be with whatever was the cold. If it rains this year, one of the pieces of instruction he gave that really helped me was he said, don’t make your thoughts, at least in this ceremony. Don’t make your thoughts. Receive your thoughts. Right, because he’s saying, look, part of prayer is having a relationship. And if you’re not listening, what kind of relationship can you have? So, if you go out with an intention, you go out with the request and you make that. Then, then listen. Right. And that whole distinction, because Dean, after four days of not eating or drinking anything. Well, you feel exertion right in your body wants those calories.
Dean Miles [00:13:12] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:13:13] And so standing up. Right. Like folding a blanket, we are able to take to all blankets. Right. Like just moving in. The summing up for me was I won’t say was exhausting, but I could feel the exertion after three days, four days in the, you know, June, June heat of New Mexico. And so, my where I’m going with that is I can very, very, very clearly feel how different it is to actively think. Then to just be present and receive. Right. So, like what you were saying, that absolutely was a game changer to go in that way, more receptive and less like, oh, I’ve got to figure something out. I’ve got to sort my thoughts out.
Dean Miles [00:13:57] Right. Yeah. That distinction is different whether it’s how we I think to transition to living a good life but also embracing being a great coach. Is not getting caught up with their clients. This is not about sorting things out. It’d be a moment for that. I mean, you had to go spend eight days to get ready for this realization of. It’s more than that. Yeah. It’s not just receiving or taking. There’s a listening aspect. How do you think this will show up in your coaching?
Brilliant Miller [00:14:38] Well, one way you know something you just said it is and we’ve talked a little bit about this before, but a big part of this is just being present with someone, right? Being with someone. Not trying to solve anything. Not trying to fix anything. Not even trying to help them. Right. And I think I’ve never been a hospice worker and end of life care work. But I actually think that this is from what I’ve read and learn about that. I think there’s a part of that, too, that like people, you can’t fix the fact that somebody is going to die. So, the work there isn’t I mean, it might be to make them more comfortable.
Dean Miles [00:15:15] Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:15:16] But it’s not even to, like, fix how they feel. I think as much as it is to be with them, right, to just be with someone. And I think in coaching, that’s a big part of this, too, is, you know, we might call this holding space, but I also like the term just being with being with another person as they as they figure things out. Right. I think I think that’s one way for sure that this will show up in my coaching.
Dean Miles [00:15:44] Let’s blend something. I want to another podcast that you did of the guy who lost his children. Yeah. And so, there’s times. Yeah, there’s times to be with while they’re sorting out. But there’s also that in this in the sense of growing with someone is find the words.
Brilliant Miller [00:16:03] Right.
Dean Miles [00:16:04] How would you how would you blend all those things together.
Brilliant Miller [00:16:08] Well, that’s a great you know, sometimes I think there is.
Dean Miles [00:16:13] Work.
Brilliant Miller [00:16:13] Of instruction. Right. All this depends on the relationship and the context and.
Dean Miles [00:16:19] Just like, can do for you, right? Yeah.
Brilliant Miller [00:16:22] Right. Yeah. There’s a time where it’s like, please, like, show me how to do something or tell me how to do something.
Dean Miles [00:16:29] Yeah.
Brilliant Miller [00:16:29] Right. And so sometimes there’s that. And part of why that comes up for me is and when you talk about finding the words, sometimes the instruction, I think, is helping people understand the power of language, like the fact that each of us is responsible for our experience of life, that the words we use shape our experience, and we have the opportunity to choose those from, you know, are you upset? Are you angry, are you pissed, are you peeved? Are you miffed? Right. They all it creates a different experience in you. Right. And so, part of it could be in helping like instructor teach someone about a principal like that, where other times it’s, you know, asking questions from a place as best we can of in, like, curiosity, truly of curiosity, of intuition. Like what is coming up. And this is maybe part of the, you know, from the woo kingdom a little bit, but this idea that life wants something, life itself is seeking for the expression of something. And we have the opportunity in a coaching relationship to not only witness the creation of the expression of that, but to participate in it. And we do that as a coach with our client, and we can do that with our questions, just as our questions come to us. Where do where do our thoughts come from? Where our questions come from? I don’t know. You know, but they do. They come from somewhere. And when we ask that with curiosity and, you know, authenticity, I think so. I think that’s part of it, part of its instruction, part of it’s just questioning. Sometimes it’s just witnessing. It’s just again, being. Westword Good morning.
Dean Miles [00:18:12] I like that a lot. Those who have been listening to our podcast from the very beginning. You’ve kind of have you’ve kind of declared that 2023 is going to be your best year yet.
Brilliant Miller [00:18:25] Yes. And each year, by the way, each subsequent year, that will also be true. And I will make sure it’s true.
Dean Miles [00:18:33] Yeah, we are. And I’m walking this with you. I’m going to do what I can to make sure that that’s true as your friends are in this, in the spirit of living a good life, being a great coach and the recognition. You’ve really have stretched and pushed yourself this year. I mean, there are things that you have enjoyed that have served you well. So, whether it’s gaming. Read it. Your consumption of. Information and media. Yep. How are you doing over there?
Brilliant Miller [00:19:06] I feel great. I feel great, man. I mean, I’m reminded that so often in this realm of, like, personal growth or self-development, that we’re often it we’re often just adding, adding, adding, consuming, consuming, consuming. Right. It’s the teacup that the master, you know, it’s just overfilling making the point. How can you take it more? By making space. Right. So, before I went on this ceremony.
Dean Miles [00:19:32] This is good.
Brilliant Miller [00:19:33] I took. I went through my contacts. I have not done this in as long as I’ve had a phone or a contact list. I had, I don’t know, 1200, not a ton, but more than I know personally. And like many people listening, maybe like you did. I don’t even know other people. Like, literally I would go, I don’t even know who this person is when I added them, why I added them. Right. And so, I went through, and I actually didn’t believe them. The I don’t know, the keeper in me exported my contacts, put them in a spreadsheet in case I ever want.
Dean Miles [00:20:08] Right, right, right.
Brilliant Miller [00:20:09] But then I kept only the people that I know personally or that I would answer the phone if they called. Right. Or that I’m pretty sure I would want to call or email or something someday. There were like 200 people left in my phone. And my point in raising that is the just the act of purging my contacts felt like I created space for something. Right. And same with this where I in this vision fast, I got super clear that I’m not looking at the Nike sneakers app any more every day. I’m not looking at Reddit anymore. I’m not reading the online news anymore. Now, I might change my mind on some of that, of course. Right. I love how in one statement you are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago.
Dean Miles [00:20:51] Yeah. Yeah. Here.
Brilliant Miller [00:20:52] Here. Right now, by not doing that, it’s making. I believe it’s me or something. And I. I just feel a lot more peace. And I heard someone say once that a sacrifice is giving up something.
Dean Miles [00:21:05] Good.
Brilliant Miller [00:21:06] For something better. So, it’s like, is it really a sacrifice? I mean, I think so because I think the peace of mind I feel or whatever, whatever is coming, you know, whatever life is, is offering me or whatever, I’ll have the opportunity to create. Like I’m I feel great.
Dean Miles [00:21:26] I believe you. I think so, Michael. Michael makes another distinction in the coaching habit. The difference between coaching for development versus coaching for performance. And I think we could change that word of performance to just coaching to live a good life. Yeah, right. Coaching to go do something that’s different than even as we’ve started this whole podcast. It’s not about merely talking about it, talking about it, it’s about going and doing it. I’ve teased with these in my previous life I was a pharmaceutical rep. This means I spent a lot of time. Probably 10000 hours sitting in a doctor’s office waiting. Right. Just waiting with all the sick people reading the magazines that has the address thing all marked out. So, you could go to that doctor’s house. There was like maybe ten years old, but I’ve read thousands of articles of how to hit out of the sand Drop Golf Digest. I mean, thousands of articles, Brilliant knew. And I played golf together. And, you know, my rule I don’t hit out of the same drop. But no one knows more about it than me. And I’m terrible at it here, which I think is the difference between sorting things out. Versus learning, improving and growing. I think it’s different than development versus performance. Go live this life. Don’t talk about it. I love what you’re challenging me into are those that listen to us and to make space for it. Yeah, you have to make space. And so, Melody and I, many of you have heard our story. In 2018, we sold everything. We had an elder on this idea. The less attached you are, the more piece you find. And, man, did we ever live? Got really, really simple. When you go down to two suitcases each. Yeah. So, get.
Brilliant Miller [00:23:28] Yeah, I think that’s true. In fact, I have a friend who’s a coach who starts every coaching engagement as quickly as he can. He’s looking for the attachment, right? When someone comes with a problem, he knows there’s always an attachment somewhere. They’re stuck somewhere. Yes, maybe many places. I. I totally agree. Well, let me tell you, in the on that theme of good living and also of doing right. And a teacher of mine introduced me to this distinction of are you a spectator or are you on the court? Are you in the stance? Right. Are you just observing or are you playing? Right. And that’s different. And I thought this was really profound where, you know, this teacher points out, look, if you’re in the stands and you say to somebody, pass him the ball, right, that doesn’t have any real power. But if you’re on the court and you’re saying, pass me the ball, Right, or you’re passing the ball.
Dean Miles [00:24:26] Right. That’s right. Huge.
Brilliant Miller [00:24:28] So where we have put our soul or the posture, we have taken that that where we have chosen to live our life. And I’ll admit there are times where I’m more passive. I’m more of a spectator than I want to be. But to have that distinction has been very valuable to me. I am I am a spectator or am I a player? And one of the areas that I, I took some action that I’ve been meaning to do literally for years was just this last week. I went, so this is as we’re recording, this is June of 2023. And just this last week I went to a program that was produced by an organization. It’s a company called Mus now MLV Nati, and it’s stands for Natural Movement. It’s founded by Erwin, the Core, who was a podcast guest of mine way back in 2019 before the pandemic. And he has an expertise in movement in moving the human body, not even in dance or any particular form. It’s just the basic things of walking, which almost sounds silly, you know, balancing, breathing, walking, jumping, lifting, throwing, climbing, you know, And there’s a few more. But ERWAN made the point that, you know, if you look at any animal in its natural habitat, it doesn’t need a special machine. It doesn’t need a dedicated place to go get exercise. It gets all the activity and all the exercise it needs. And and, you know, to build on that a little more like how funny it is that we have, you know, this special a lap pulldown machine and we do bench press and, you know, and they can be interesting or fun for their own thing if that’s a hobby, bodybuilding or whatever, for sure. But Erwan teaches these principles of being healthy, you know, growing, having fun, interacting with others through moving naturally. And I had wanted to when I talked to him, I read his book and I said, I want to go to your program. He even offered generously to comp my registration for this two day.
Dean Miles [00:26:43] Teacher.
Brilliant Miller [00:26:44] Training. And then there’s two more days for level two as level one. Level two, I wanted to support his organization, so I knew I wanted to pay pandemic hits. Three years. I put it off.
Dean Miles [00:26:55] Before I put off.
Brilliant Miller [00:26:56] Finally, as part of my best year ever. I did sign up. And I went and I ended up going to Vic. Yeah, I think I told you, Victoria. British Columbia was where it was offered. It’s offered around the world. But I went there, and I had a teacher who was not arewa and this is one thing I loved him and maybe people listening to is I’m always fascinated to when someone teaches something, how they get other people involved in it to more so teach it and spread it.
Dean Miles [00:27:26] Yeah. Scale. Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:27:27] Because the founder of this is not there. And interesting feature was a guy named Stefano and he is amazing. He’s my same age, so he’s also 45 and this guy has tattoos. I love his tattoos because they’re.
Dean Miles [00:27:43] Not.
Brilliant Miller [00:27:44] Like the sleeves, they’re spaced out and I don’t even know what the style is, but they were awesome, and he had them from not face but neck.
Dean Miles [00:27:54] To.
Brilliant Miller [00:27:55] Toe to toe. And this guy Stefano’s ability to move was absolutely next level. I can I’d have a hard time describing some of the moves, but I’ll tell you one he is sitting down in a cross-legged position. Think about these 1845 years old. He sits down and cross-legged position stands straight up, feet just flat on the floor, spins around. Now his legs are crossed the other way, sits back down.
Dean Miles [00:28:20] Wow.
Brilliant Miller [00:28:21] That’s unreal. Or even rocking forward from your back and standing up in a squatting position. That is challenging and that’s before any of the climbing maneuvers where he’ll get on a bar and be able to hang upside down and do a muscle up and pull up and like all these things that admittedly they’re probably not any more practical for most of us than a lap pulled out would be. But they could be right. And especially for certain people, I think. Right. Whether it’s military firefighters, you know, the people who are active like this. But I just had so much fun learning these super basic principles. One of them was jumping. Learning to jump. Learning to vault, to jump over certain whether it was benches or boxes or things like this. And a lot of it was like being a little kid again. But the curriculum was awesome. It was very simple. It was all stuff. I think almost all of it was stuff to be reminded of. But this. So, I would just say I’m an evangelist for the move, not system. It’s versus it’s not like CrossFit work. CrossFit is very competitive, which is fine, right? If that’s your jam. But movement is very cooperative. It’s not competitive. And it’s a great.
Dean Miles [00:29:35] Distance.
Brilliant Miller [00:29:36] In your body. Moving, learning, growing. It was. So, I learned a lot and I’m sore in places I forgot I could be so up.
Dean Miles [00:29:42] All right a couple thought so am of the in a dot com for those that want to go find it. Yep, I’m I’m looking at it right now they got a couple of different like social media posts one is trained the whole not the parts. Yes, I like that’s interesting and conventional fitness done in nature does not qualify as a natural way to exercise. I like that distinction. And there is a trend right now on both Tik-tok and Twitter of getting multiple generations in your family or within your network to skip. Hmm. Just. Trying to skip. And it’s both hilarious and real and sad to see people. Our age. Bryant, you’re 45. I’m 53. Who have? They don’t. They can’t do it. Yeah.
Brilliant Miller [00:30:39] Well, Dean, I’ll tell you. Yeah, there was a similar a few similar moments like that for me, where there’s one technique in this, one skill in movement, which is a crawl. And by the way, I didn’t realize there’s like 15 different ways to crawl, at least.
Dean Miles [00:30:54] What I did.
Brilliant Miller [00:30:55] But the basic what they call the foot hand crawl, where you get on the tips of your toes and you put your hands flat on the ground and you move your body, so your right hand moves with your left knee and your left hand moves with your right knee, which apparently didn’t know. This is what’s called a contralateral. Right, because you’re moving the opposite hand of freedom to do that. It took me like I could almost feel the neurons firing. And then you get that done and there’s these transition positions, too, that in a way are almost like yoga asanas, like people who do yoga, I think could really take to move that and like it quite a lot to I would think. But so, you made this transition and now you’re on your hands by the sides of your shoulders and your feet are flat on the floor. You actually tilt back. So, your heels are on the floor. So now you’re crawling, same thing contralateral, but you’re crawling forward or backwards. And that. Is an amazing opportunity to grow, like for people who maybe haven’t skipped in 30 or 40 years. When was the last time you crawled? Right. It was last time you crawled in that in that manner. Like a crab?
Dean Miles [00:32:06] Yeah, I went. I had too much to drink, and I’m trying to find the bathroom. Maybe.
Brilliant Miller [00:32:10] Yeah, I’m serious.
Dean Miles [00:32:12] But for all the wrong reasons.
Brilliant Miller [00:32:14] And just balancing. Right. One of the things that we did this I love what Stefanos said about this. He said that many people overestimate their ability to balance, and they underestimated value. And so, our simple exercise was to stand on a two by four and walk down this two by four foot over foot. Then there’s two methods of transition that they teach, ones like a quick pivot. One’s like a t turn where you’re deliberately moving your weight. Do that, walk backwards like it’s not the easiest thing. And then even after you master that, there’s the getting down low, transitioning your body on the two by four, moving in a squatted position like these things that you see them. And for me at least I’m like, oh, I want to try that.
Dean Miles [00:33:00] Yeah. This is really good. I want to. You are you are an evangelist, my friend. You have me. You have me drinking the Kool-Aid. I’m doing that deep breathing thing. You know, Eugene, this is not out of my nose. You got me doing creative briefs, and now you got me. So, they talk about this on their website that our system for natural movement is primarily based on efficiency. And they give the example of just breathing. I mean, everyone can breathe, but we’re not actually aware of it, are in control of our breath. And we talked about this last week, our last podcast, that when I’m reminded and like Dean. I feel it almost immediately. And so just to kind of ground everybody. Why is brilliant talking about this? Why is this important to him? Because if you want to live a good life, if you want to be a great coach, if you want to earn recognition and money, these are the foundational things. Yeah, this is these aren’t just the nice two halves, you know, that it really is the foundational things where you’re challenging all of us to read all these books. But if you’re unhealthy, then. Then what does it matter?
Brilliant Miller [00:34:16] Yeah, absolutely. If you’re unhealthy or if you’re miserable, might be too strong of a word. But if you’re not living in what Tony Robbins would call beautiful states, if you’re not living in states of curiosity and wonder and gratitude and, you know, these kinds of things that are empowering states. And as I it took me a long time to learn this, but our physiology really is the foundation of our emotional well-being.
Dean Miles [00:34:40] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:34:41] Yes. And the fastest way to change your physiology that I found is breathing is always available. Right. But then beyond that, is this the way we said the way we move? And to have this in your repertoire, you know, a lot of people I think you’ve probably seen this too, right? Many of our clients, they want to have more confidence. Like like they’re going to do something and somehow, they’re miraculously going to have like a like a role-playing character, like plus ten to confidence. Right. Right. But I found we can generate confidence. Like we can create any emotion at any time. But that is easier to do when our physiology is strong, when it’s vital. And we and that’s when we don’t use it, we lose it. And so, learning these new capabilities and then using them can help us to tap into not only confidence, which to me is one of the. Biggest benefits. And part of that is confidence. Like in so many areas of life, confidence that I can be an effective coach, I can make my business profitable, you know, to whatever my life does matter because we all have stories that run us.
Dean Miles [00:35:55] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:35:56] And they do serve us in some way. Those stories serve us in some way, but they also have a big downside. And so, this opportunity to really cultivate our physiology and again, move now is not the only way to do that. But one of the things I’ve discovered is that for a lot of people, going to the gym is a grind. It’s that thing I should do, I have to do. I wish I had more time to do all that. But then we go, and we don’t always love it. But if we can get back into that childlike state of play and discovery, you know that it’s it’s not work.
Dean Miles [00:36:27] No, it isn’t another Michael quote in his book, The Coaching Habit. That’s not to say less, ask more and change the way you lead forever, he says. You’re probably not getting very effective coaching and you’re probably not delivering very effective coaching. It’s a great challenge for all of us. I see this not as a as a brag. I say this. This is evidence that this that these topics that you and I are talking about and there’s pushing to this level of mastery to be a masterful coach. I’ve talked about a friend of mine, Robert Hargrove, wrote a book and he has this quote that when a great coach and a great leader find each other, sparks fly, and history made in the first six months of this year. I’ve had the opportunity. I didn’t get all of them, but I had I was able to pitch. I was in the running. It’s the number for 1.2 $1,284,000 worth of coaching for the first six months of 2023. Wow. Proud of that. That’s a lot of digests. That’s a lot of mastery. It’s a lot of training. It has been a lot of writing some two years ago, but they chose to write 600 words every day. You’ve inspired me. You’ve aggravated me. You’ve pushed me to live a great life, to be a great coach, to find those ways to earn recognition and then make money doing this. I just want to say that for those that are listening, this stuff works hard. But it works. No.
Brilliant Miller [00:38:25] Well, thanks for sharing that in. I didn’t know you made the commitment to write 600 words every day two years ago.
Dean Miles [00:38:32] Yeah, that was January of 2022. Yeah, that’s just because it goes to confidence. I didn’t have confidence to to do it. I don’t I don’t see myself as a good writer. Uh, some early feedback. In my younger years, I always struggled with adverbs and adjectives. And for those that remember that conjunction junction, what’s your function? You know, that Saturday morning cartoon thing, hooking up nouns and clauses and whatever, but things like. But technology. Things like grammarly. Helped me a lot where I can. I’ve got my topic; I have my thoughts. I’ve done my research. I can now write the sentence. I can write the paragraph. A friend of our Mark writer has helped me a lot with this writer’s workshop that he’s made available. The good writing is a result of good thinking. Yeah. And I’m good at the thinking part, but sometimes my sentences were not well for me. But now I can type those out and Gram really catches it.
Brilliant Miller [00:39:39] Yeah, that’s awesome. Well, that that’s awesome. And to your point about, you know, this is it is possible. It’s not necessarily easy. It can be hard. But the commitment. Right. Having a goal, having an intention, having a commitment, maintaining the discipline, I suspect. You know, you’ve talked about some of the the goals that you’ve had that have either come to fruition of the you’ve stayed with you’re still doing I would imagine there’s some that you’ve put by the wayside or you’re all over renegotiated with yourself. What imagine that too, which is normal. Absolutely right. But I know there are people in the world that don’t have goals. It’s a little bit hard for me to believe. I mean, I realize there are many people on this planet who are just in survival mode. So that’s not hard for me to believe. They don’t have, like, real goals, but.
Dean Miles [00:40:28] Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:40:29] But you’ve been very intentional. So, yes, it works. And I think a little bit about like, how does an airplane fly? Well, there’s forces, there’s thrust, you know, there’s lifts and there’s gravity and there’s thrust and there’s drag. And if you do certain things, certain things will happen. It’s it’s not mysterious necessarily. And I think that what you’re talking about is evidence of that, maybe not in a physical way, maybe a, I don’t know, metaphysical or even spiritual way. But yeah, that’s the this like these I’m speaking very abstractly right now, but like, it works. These principles work, dammit.
Dean Miles [00:41:10] They do. I mean, the focus isn’t on the result. The focus is on that on the daily practice. And then Martha Goldsmith’s book, The Hero with Mark, writer of Triggers, and this idea of these daily questions and the idea of did I do my best today, which allows for humanity, I even like your icons. Reminder of just relax the humanness for a second. Yeah. And so there is space or make space and then allow for that space. But did I do my best today? Right? And I reward myself. My favorite part of the day is really going to bed. I love going to bed. I wish there were rollover minutes of effort, but man, it’s very cruel in the sense that it just it starts over right away. But just I just have this 24 hour. I do my best. I enjoy those experiences. And then I go to bed and then I get to start over again.
Brilliant Miller [00:42:09] Yeah. And every day is like a mini life. Right. So exactly what I thought. As simple as it is, that was a bit of a mind blower to me, was, look, if we can do that every day, that we can wake up and we can be clear who we are or who we’re committed to being. Right. Maybe we’ll never figure out exactly who we are in this lifetime. We can. We know what we want, what we’re trying to do, what we’re committed to do that day, how we’re going to spend our time and focus our priorities, align them with our values, that kind of thing. You only have 4040 minutes in a day, right? You probably slept for 400 of them. So, you’ve got 1000 minutes.
Dean Miles [00:42:46] Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:42:48] And if you can do that every day and every day is not perfect. We get distracted. We get in projects, we get in crises, right? Or other people do, and then we attend to them. But if we can do that every day. And we get to the end of our life. Having done that, by definition, we will have lived our life intentionally, right? We will have lived our life fully.
Dean Miles [00:43:07] Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:43:08] And I love what General George Patton said. If a man has done his best. What else is there? Like, how could you be upset? How could you be disappointed if you’ve truly done your best? And it’s, as you said, it’s not even about the result. The result is like a byproduct.
Dean Miles [00:43:24] Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:43:25] But really about the process. I really, I love that. That’s the whole John Wooden. Anybody that’s, you know, studied any of it.
Dean Miles [00:43:33] It’s exactly.
Brilliant Miller [00:43:33] Right. Coach John Wooden’s teachings.
Dean Miles [00:43:36] Yeah, my coach helped me a long time ago, probably late 227. And I’ve talked about this before, but just the clarity of these three words of awe, adventure and advocacy. And so, I we my very definition of that is surprise with the hands of fear. Me That’s what you went and did in the desert. I mean, there’s this surprise at the hint of fear and that of pushing yourself. So, whether it’s pushing yourself or just being off of a mountain scene or a sunset or a sunrise or a good scotch or a good whiskey or great conversation, like I often have with you, that puts me in a state of adventure. I’m addicted to that. So, whether it’s gone travel somewhere or who has the best peanut butter in town, I want to go find it. And then there’s advocacy. There are things that need a voice. And the times where I usually become the most miserable or the sky is falling is that I’m so self-oriented. Yeah. And when I can switch that to other orientation and even as you said, there are some that are just trying to get water today to go advocate, to be an advocate for that helps me just to get out of my own pity and my life is better for it.
Brilliant Miller [00:44:51] Absolutely. And I love that in that in the art adventure and advocacy, there is the the back and forth between you and others. Right. Because if we’re always giving, ultimately, I think we’ll end up depleted. We might even end up resentful, frustrated, that kind of thing. And conversely, if we’re always focused on ourselves that there comes a point where that’s not fulfilling either. That’s not me.
Dean Miles [00:45:13] So some words that were they were induced to me. So, Jacquelyn Lane is a friend of ours. She’s actually the president of the 100 coach’s agency. And her and Scott Osmond and Marsha Goldsmith there just have just completed writing a book called Becoming Coachable. Should come out here early July. But this difference switching from thriving to flourishing. So thriving is what I experienced just myself. Which can kind of it feels empty at times. If I just. It was just about me. Flourishing as is. It involves community and involves you and I together. I like that mind shift. I want to flourish. Yeah. I don’t want to merely thrive. I mean, I want a first world, you know? A privilege.
Brilliant Miller [00:46:06] Yeah, for sure. Right. Total first world issue. Absolutely. Well, and to go back to something you said. On a personal note, I loved your description of, or you say surprised with a hint of fear.
Dean Miles [00:46:19] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:46:20] This is why I love golf so much. Every shocking guest surprise.
Dean Miles [00:46:25] With a little bit of fear.
Brilliant Miller [00:46:28] Sometimes it involves yelling for.
Dean Miles [00:46:30] And.
Brilliant Miller [00:46:30] Sometimes it’s just hoping it’s over the center, you know?
Dean Miles [00:46:34] Yes. In that in that little tease you might feel in your back every now and then.
Brilliant Miller [00:46:39] Yes. Well. Well, Jim, I know we’re almost at our time. So, here’s what I propose, that we start this as kind of a part one. Maybe it will go on beyond part two, even. But from here, in the last part of our conversation, we had planned it. There was to talk.
Dean Miles [00:46:56] About.
Brilliant Miller [00:46:58] Something to help us. People listening to earn a recognition and money.
Dean Miles [00:47:03] Yeah, I.
Brilliant Miller [00:47:04] Proposed before we started recording that. The thing we explore.
Dean Miles [00:47:08] In this area.
Brilliant Miller [00:47:09] Of the conversation is to write a book that, you know, it can make sense in a lot of ways. It can also not make sense in a lot of ways, but it can be a product, right? It can be a credibility builder; it can be a calling card of sorts. Can be. You know, so there’s a lot to it. And I know you’ve spent a lot of time in the presence of some very talented and successful in terms of sales or just getting ideas out into the world to make a difference for people, writers. And so, I.
Dean Miles [00:47:44] Want.
Brilliant Miller [00:47:46] I want to talk about writing a book and why that might make sense for people listening. And beyond that, I don’t have.
Dean Miles [00:47:53] A huge.
Brilliant Miller [00:47:55] I like agenda for the discussion. I know again, there are podcasts that are entirely devoted to this, and this is one component of our podcast and it’s in one conversation. But how about if we spend at least a few minutes now exploring the topic and then we’ll have the intention that we’ll continue it in a subsequent conversation?
Dean Miles [00:48:15] I like that a lot. Yes, let’s do that for sure.
Brilliant Miller [00:48:17] Okay. So, here’s where I want to start. I want to start by saying, I know you’ve been in a I think it’s a monthly workshop.
Dean Miles [00:48:27] It is.
Brilliant Miller [00:48:28] That’s been taught by Mark Reiter, REIT R, right. Who’s a.
Dean Miles [00:48:32] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:48:33] Five or six- or eight-time New York Times bestselling author.
Dean Miles [00:48:36] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:48:37] Pretty amazing. I haven’t had the privilege of joining those in person, but I’ve watched the Zoom recordings of maybe ten of those. And I took a ton of notes. Mm hmm. And I would love to just ask you if you’d be willing to share and I know this is called you didn’t I didn’t ask you to prep anything before that kind of thing, but what have you. I want to ask too, a two-part question, because one is, what have you taken away from those conversations? It’s a small group. There’s like ten or 12 people, maybe 20, right, I think. But what have you what stands out to you from that year and a half or so of conversations that you’ve heard? Part A. But part B is like, why and how.
Dean Miles [00:49:20] Might.
Brilliant Miller [00:49:21] People listening use that to get their own book written, their own message out into the world? Why should they maybe prioritize that if they either haven’t or why should they start thinking about it if it if they haven’t?
Dean Miles [00:49:37] Great question. See how I can answer this? The first the first thing that Mark talked a lot about is the collection of anecdotes. At a minimum, you need around 88 zero anecdotes for a book like that. But you go ahead.
Brilliant Miller [00:50:00] Sorry, just to jump in, and I do want to clarify that we’re talking now about nonfiction books. Right. They’re in this vein. So, we’re not talking about fiction writing and we’re not talking about a memoir. Mm hmm. Right. And we’re not even taught we’re not talking about academic books. We’re talking about like a book like Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
Dean Miles [00:50:18] Write.
Brilliant Miller [00:50:19] Books like What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. Right. Books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a.
Dean Miles [00:50:24] Fuck executive.
Brilliant Miller [00:50:26] Four-hour workweek, like those kinds of books. Just so people.
Dean Miles [00:50:29] Yes. Well said. What we’re talking.
Brilliant Miller [00:50:31] About, right?
Dean Miles [00:50:32] Yes. So, it’s collecting these stories primarily your own. Now, there can be others that you’ve heard. But start collecting those because it’s in there. The as you write them and as you read them and as you reread them, as you start finding themes and them, it becomes your book. It’s it’s not about the problem. It’s about the solution. And most specific specifically is why are you the one to deliver the solution? That will be the difference between having a half million dollar, a half million book sold or selling three. Right. You, your wife and your mother-in-law.
Brilliant Miller [00:51:18] Why are stories so important? Why does Mark say like. Collect at least 80 stories?
Dean Miles [00:51:25] Because they’re identifiable, it grounds it. And the more unexpected the outcome is, the more it draws in that reader.
Brilliant Miller [00:51:37] So let me let me again interject for anybody who’s going, Oh, that’s one guy’s opinion. I’ve maybe never heard of Mark Reiter or whatever. One just popped into my head that I want to share because my guess is almost everybody listening to this will have heard it. Okay. That’s that story. So, in the four-hour workweek, I know it’s been told elsewhere of the guy who goes to Mexico, who sees the fishermen.
Dean Miles [00:52:00] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:52:01] Who’s saying like, hey, why don’t you buy a fleet of boats so that you can live on the beach or whatever? And the guy’s like, why would I want to do that? I’m already here, right? Or something. So, I thought that story terribly, but. Right. That’s everybody knows that story from that book.
Dean Miles [00:52:16] Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:52:17] Right.
Dean Miles [00:52:18] That’s exactly right.
Brilliant Miller [00:52:19] And I don’t know that this was a story as much as a concept, but in good to great, like almost everybody knows, get the right people on the bus and get them in the right seats.
Dean Miles [00:52:27] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:52:28] Right. So, my guess is that if you have these anecdotes that illustrate a point you’re trying to make, not only are they more memorable, right, but relatable, then if I just give you some facts and instruction, it’s like, oh, it illustrates a point. There’s something I think truly that’s like hardwired in us to learn my story, including when I’m being entertained, when I’m interested. I’m not being taught. Nobody’s trying to convince me or persuade me. Like I’m just absorbed and all of a sudden, I’m way more receptive to whatever this person is, whatever point this person is trying to make. Right, Whether I know it or not.
Dean Miles [00:53:09] Yes or no. So, if you think about. So, Marsha Goldsmith and the time that Mark Reiter would spend, I think from 2000 to I’d feel comfortable at this from 22 to 27. They were working on this book. What got you here Won’t get you there five years. Of Marks spending time with Marshall and hearing the stories and hearing the stories and hearing the stories. But do you see the problem in the solution here? What got you here won’t get you there. Yeah. Think about this title. Good to great. That’s the problem. We know the solution. Yeah, right. Jim Collins says, let me tell you the stories.
Brilliant Miller [00:53:59] Another one.
Dean Miles [00:53:59] Woody. Yeah, sorry.
Brilliant Miller [00:54:00] Just to jump in. Another one is never split the difference.
Dean Miles [00:54:04] Perfect. Beautiful.
Brilliant Miller [00:54:05] Many stories. So many stories. Another one is it’s James Clear with what’s it called? Atomic Habits.
Dean Miles [00:54:13] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:54:14] He opens with the story with a baseball bat hitting him. Right. And it’s like, here’s the thing. Sometimes I don’t even remember the point. The stories are trying to make, quite honestly. Yeah. At the time, it made me feel something, right? And I wanted to keep reading. And I do think I learned, you know, something. And again, like, if these stories are your clients with their permission, of course. Of course. Anonymize them.
Dean Miles [00:54:41] Right.
Brilliant Miller [00:54:41] That, again, can have the effect of making the book more relatable because it’s not just you are expounding your genius to everyone, but you’re going, hey, this this is a real human being, just like you probably who struggled with this, maybe just like you. Right. And then so it’s more relatable, perhaps. And then it’s also establishing your authority. Like your credibility.
Dean Miles [00:55:04] Hmm.
Brilliant Miller [00:55:05] Like, hey, I helped this person. They were in this situation, and now they’re this kind of person. It’s this is the transformation that I’ve helped them make. And it’s done through story that’s as powerful.
Dean Miles [00:55:15] Yeah. And it was great with some of the the the generative artificial intelligence now of once you’ve collected these stories, you can use things like a challenge to help you find the themes. And I was like, even better than Chad, you beauteous, find a friend. Yeah. I find a market writer in your life. Find a brilliant miller in your life who will go on a long walk with you and will hear your stories. And then we’ll say back to you. You know what I keep hearing you keep saying these things because Marshall didn’t hear it. Mark Ryder heard it. And turned into this book that’s been around for almost 20 years. And I mean, they’ve sold a lot of these. Yeah.
Brilliant Miller [00:56:02] And not only have they sold a lot, but they’ve also helped a lot of people. Right and then.
Dean Miles [00:56:07] Basically right, get back.
Brilliant Miller [00:56:09] To the revenue thing. Then they’ve also gotten a lot of corporate engagements.
Dean Miles [00:56:15] So true.
Brilliant Miller [00:56:16] Right. So, tell us.
Dean Miles [00:56:18] So collect your anecdotes, start buying your system. Of just writing them down. Yeah, that’s the place to start. So even if you don’t even plan on writing a book, I think just by writing those down, I think it makes you a better coach because you start learning some of your go to successes where you’re helping people go from development to performance, where you’re you’re going to effective conversations, where the conversations actually matter. Yeah, you’ll start seeing patterns of when you start with small talk versus when you start with. So, what’s on your mind today? Mm hmm. It becomes it changes things. The results are way different.
Brilliant Miller [00:57:03] Yeah, absolutely. And I, I remember when I studied with Jack and felt when I began my coaching and personal development journey really in earnest 12 or 13 years ago. And Jack has the chicken soup for the soul originator. Master, storyteller, master story collector. Right. He would find stories. He was constantly listening for stories. Right. And I remember one thing I took away from him, which was a lot of things I took away from my time with Jack. I’ll always be grateful to him because he pointed out that you can tell a story that is exemplary. Like, hey, here’s when it’s done well, what it looks like, and maybe here was the journey to get there and all the obstacles that had to be overcome like a lot. But it points is, you can tell the story of when it’s done well, but you can also tell a story when it wasn’t.
Dean Miles [00:57:54] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:57:55] And that’s one, by the way, I think it’s Gavin Tabak who wrote The Gift of Fear.
Dean Miles [00:57:59] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [00:57:59] Right. That there are these stories of when people didn’t listen to their intuition. Those are just as powerful as anything that Gavin could have included about what to do. Right.
Dean Miles [00:58:08] Such a good one. I’m trying to. I know it’s over here, over there somewhere.
Brilliant Miller [00:58:13] Incredible. Like, it’s a totally different book without the stories.
Dean Miles [00:58:17] Completely, completely different. So, collect your anecdotes and then it’s all about the proposal. Mm hmm. You can Google. You can go find is searchable best proposals, best book proposals ever written. Go find them and then use that as your template. It’s impressive.
Brilliant Miller [00:58:51] But, Dean, what if I want to self-publish? Do I still need a book proposal?
Dean Miles [00:58:59] Well, of course not. But if. But if you want to earn recognition, earn money, even the self-publication, at a minimum, I will do the creative brief. Yeah, right. I mean, at a minimum, but. Yeah, self-publishing is fine. And so, Marc Rider, he if if we if I could channel Marc for a second. He says, you don’t write a book to become famous. You become famous and you write a book. And by famous, I mean you’ve, you’ve. You’ve earned the recognition. Mm. You have to be able to clearly articulate Why are you the messenger? Because that will make the difference. You might have the right message, but if you’re not the right messenger, the solution can get lost. There’s a lot of noise out there.
Brilliant Miller [00:59:53] There is there is a lot of noise out there. Sometimes it’s literal, like the chairs rolling behind you somewhere.
Dean Miles [01:00:01] But yeah.
Brilliant Miller [01:00:02] You’re absolutely right. And from watching those recordings of the workshops that you’ve been in with Mark, one of the things that I remember was I think it was in the very first one when he said, we’re not going to talk about writing a book today. We’re not going to talk about publishing per se, or at least we’re not going to start with that. We’re going to start with why do you want to write this book? And just like you’re saying, why are you the person to write it?
Dean Miles [01:00:28] Yes.
Brilliant Miller [01:00:29] And that’s easy to that’s easy to overlook is like, what are your goals for the book? Like, why do you really want to write this thing? Because if you don’t have a compelling way that’s going to carry you through this arduous process, you might not make it. Because this is not this is one of those things that a lot of people want to have written a book, But I don’t think a lot of people want to write a book.
Dean Miles [01:00:55] No, no. In the more I’m learning about that. I mean, it’s not in the writing, it’s in the rewriting and then rewriting and it’s rewriting and rewriting and it’s rewriting. I think you know this, Ted, I’ve heard you quoted before because I forget what did this. The average number of book sales per book that’s on Amazon. Do you. Do you know what the number is?
Brilliant Miller [01:01:17] I remember Marshall has talked about that, and I don’t remember the average number, but I do remember Marshall saying that there are more than a million books on Amazon that have zero sales.
Dean Miles [01:01:26] Yes. Yeah, I think the average is like five.
Brilliant Miller [01:01:31] That would have seriously, it would surprise me if it was that high at the average.
Dean Miles [01:01:34] But maybe because you think it’s lower than five.
Brilliant Miller [01:01:36] Well, you know, the Harry Potter and things.
Dean Miles [01:01:38] That are with the average, I’m with you. So, I would say those that are hearing that number for the first time are shocked. That is five, because I would have thought was much higher until you start hearing some of the math that you just reminded us of. But yes. So, it’s important. I mean, if you want if you want to just share something within your own group. But but those that are listening to this podcast, you’re out there. You’re not on the stands. You’re not on the sidelines. You are on the field. You are making observations. And you probably have some amazing solutions. Solutions to some real-world problems that the world needs to hear. Collect your anecdotes. Earn the recognition. And then go write your book. Go, go share your message.
Brilliant Miller [01:02:30] I love that. I love that. And that feels like a that feels like a good starting point. That was pretty powerful. I do have something else that I want to share in the way of stories, but I’m going to save it.
Dean Miles [01:02:45] Oh, tease.
Brilliant Miller [01:02:47] I’m going to save it. I’m going to make the commitment to me and to you, Dean. Okay, everybody who’s listening. Who might care. Now, what I want to do when we pick up, because I do want to pick up this topic about and in full disclosure, part of this is I have. I wanted to write the book that I’m working on for almost ten years now. And when I say I’ve wanted to write it, I have worked on this book, and it has not. Happened yet? Like I’ve not published you yet. And I have written one book. I’ve written one already. But the one I want to write is feeling really stuck. And what you said is part of what I need to hear. And there’s more that I want to talk about with you. I want to explore with others as well. So, let’s let’s wrap this part of the let’s wrap the conversation here with a final thought. So maybe a sort of whistle doesn’t even have to be related to publishing, writing or even anything we’ve talked about. So let me share first then, so you can have the last word. Aside from that, thank you for listening and we hope you tune in. Next time we’ll be found out. You, okay? So, what I feel like expressing. Well, here’s a story. This one might go in my book. A few years ago, I hosted a monopoly tournament that’s a charitable monopoly tournament, just the kind of guy I am. And a lady showed up. She was in a wheelchair. She was on oxygen. She was hosted by a friend of hers because that friend was who brought her from the hospital. And she came from the hospital to my little Monopoly tournament because she had seen me on TV. Friend of mine does PR. He wanted to help a little bit. He got me on the morning like the morning shows here in town. Yeah. This lady, Nancy, saw it. And for some reason, she’s like 60 years old. Late stage. I think she had cancer. Wasn’t doing that well. But she saw this and wanted to come play Monopoly. Hadn’t left the hospital so she’d been admitted. Wow. Comes. Makes an extraordinary effort to come. Comes in place. It’s like three, 4 hours of Monopoly. Tournament’s over. She leaves. She didn’t win, but I hope she had a good time. 30 days later to the day, 30 days later, that friend that Brodeur reached out to me told me that Nancy passed away. But she also told me that Nancy shared with her how meaningful that was to just come and play a game. And why I bring that up again is ah, why bring that up now is, you know, it’s cheesy, but I also think it’s true. Any day above ground is a good day. Right. And any day we get to do what we love. We get to be with people we love. We get to eat food we enjoy. Right. Which again, we don’t get to choose every area of our life. We make commitments and we have responsibilities and things like that. But that opportunity to be to be here is a gift. And I didn’t always believe that. I did not see the world that way. So, I’m I will always be grateful to Nancy for helping to really through a story which was a lived experience. Like, really demonstrate that to me and a power of choice. Like, there’s so much in that one story. And hearing you doing.
Dean Miles [01:06:01] So.
Brilliant Miller [01:06:01] Might be of Mark’s thing about adding anecdotes for a book. And it’s that like, I’m just I’m really grateful. Super, super grateful.
Dean Miles [01:06:11] That’s. I love how you started that story. Tell us the first sentence again. Do you remember it?
Brilliant Miller [01:06:19] Was this about a hot stove monopoly tournament?
Dean Miles [01:06:22] You had me there. Well, that’s an amazing first sentence for the first paragraph. Yeah, that’s good writing. All right. You can’t help. A great sentence compels you to read the next sentence. Yes, says Mark. Writer. That’s not a denial state. Yeah. It’s really, really well done. I just love that first time. I think about that whole weekend. Yeah, I think what I feel like. What I feel like sharing is. Oh, God, there’s just so many things. But you are saying. We need to make space. Mm hmm. And so, too. To remove something or to pause something or to stop something, it’s good. So, you can make room for something that could be better. Yes. That’s just that’s just a great reminder. I’ve experienced that in my life. And it’s. It’s returned full for sure.
Brilliant Miller [01:07:26] Beautiful. Awesome. All right. Well, thank you, Dean. And thank you to anyone and everyone listening or watching. I do truly hope these coaches commonplace podcast has inspired you or otherwise. I don’t even like the word to say helped. I don’t like that. But I do hope that you’ve taken away something from this that you will. Hey, I hope you enjoy it. And b, I hope you will.
Dean Miles [01:07:52] Use with.
Brilliant Miller [01:07:54] Those that you either are already responsible to or that you can reach and touch and serve. So, with that, thank you for listening. Thanks for watching. And we will see you again next time.
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